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| As I look back on my previous post, it seems incredible that I've already spent 10 weeks undergoing training as a Civil Defence Officer and left with 21 more.. Anyone who says that Civil Defence training is slack should be slapped and brought down here to get some. Carrying immense loads of firefighting equipment, enduring extreme temperatures of heat and cold while completing seemingly endless and impossible tasks like carrying a 90kg dummy with 3 other guys and sprinting while wearing full bunker gear and breathing apparatus (read face mask and gas cylinder). I daresay that I have never been pushed and tested to so far and extreme throughout my whole life thus far. So many times has the thought of giving up crossed my mind. So many times have I felt fear of the impending training ahead. But I thank God that He has placed me under all this tough training because I know He has great plans to build up my foundation and relationship with Him. Never before have I depended so much on His strength and joy to keep me going. Never before have I been so thankful to my Lord who brings me through every single challenge ahead in one piece and still smiling. I thank God that despite obvious racial and interpersonal issues in my course He still has made me a friend to every single one of my course mates and has blessed me with open doors to mediate and even talk some sense into them. I thank God that He has also blessed me with open doors and promptings to speak life and blessings as well as pray for my coursemates who are struggling to cope. But most importantly, I finally can see just how faithful my Father in Heaven is to me and the extent of His love for me. Been reading Jeremiah during quiet time in my bunk and it has really just reminded me how amazing and wonderful is the God that I serve. I pray that He will continue to bless me with unique and interesting experiences in Civil Defence and that He will continue to break me so that I learn to rely on Him to get through. On a different note.. I'll be taking my driving test this coming saturday so do pray for me that I'll pass!! Cheers mates. | | |
| Before I know it, I've completed BMT, finished with my block leave and moving on to my new unit. Warning! Cliche ahead: "time really does fly.." So, I got posted to Singapore Civil Defence Force to be trained as an Officer. I know what you're thinking.." Civil Defence?? *snigger snigger smirk smirk*, too weak to go army is it..." Well, that's what most people might think anyway but in all seriousness I am pretty happy with my posting. I still will be commisioned as an officer, I get a mad high pay (close to 1.4k) and I am in a meaningful vocation. Apparently though I'm not sure if its true, people who get posted as an SCDF OCT(officer cadet trainee) after completing their army BMT are those who actually qualify to go to OCS but have Malaysian blood and so they can't be admitted into OCS. Seems to make sense since my mom is Malaysian. But anyhoo, I'm happy and excited about converting over to the Civil Defence. Heard from friends who went through the same vocation that training is tough but interesting and fulfilling. So we'll see.. 22/06/09 marks the beginning of my 8 month journey of fire extinguishers and ladders.. bye bye jungle warfare training and bye bye SAR 21 rifle.. Muahaha. But in all honesty I will miss doing all the army stuff. Running around like headless monkeys with our rifles, charging through the jungle doing fire movements, running SOC in SBO attire, going out for field camps and all... My BMT days were really quite enjoyable because of all the blood, sweat, tears, pain and laughs that I experienced with my section mates. The feeling of pride that we get from completing that physically and mentally challenging feat within our training together is unsurpassed. Honestly I really enjoyed my BMT because of the great brothers I have in my section that march, run, charge and prone alongside me. It's sad to see us all going our separate ways but that's the way it is.. and we can do nothing about it except to suck thumb. A part of me wishes that I was posted to OCS instead.. for the prestige and the experience. Nontheless I'm sure SCDF OCT training will provide me with similar experiences.. as for the prestige... well.. I'll leave that up to you. Cheers. | | |
| Well well well. It's been a good one month since I enlisted into the army.. and it still feels strange when I think about it. NS seems so far away when we talk about it as young boys but now that I'm actually going through it.. it just feels surreal. Oh well, its just one phase in the life of every Singaporean male so let's get it over and done with... Nonetheless, its been a good experience so far. I'm learning so much about myself and the way I do things and learning even more about working with people from different backgrounds with different mindsets and unique strengths and weaknesess. I know that my time in army is going to be one where I learn precious lessons about life and strenghtened in the values that I am weak in... like patience for example. Patience to tolerate people that I don't like, patience to help my buddies when they're not sure of what to do, patience to slow down for others and patience to just wait instead of deciding quickly and acting (although in certain scenarios the latter is always the best action to take..) Why am I so certain that my time in army is going to be one huge learning experience through which I will become a better person? Well, God told me so.. =) Its only been 7 weeks since I enlisted and already I've learnt how important and precious my family is to me, how vital it is for people to help each other, how a strong mind and heart can overcome all challenges and how much easier life can be when we're in a community that cares and shares. I'm not saying that I like being in the army. If given a choice I would choose not to go through it at all but since its a duty that I must fulfill, then why not get the most out of the experience? =) | | |
| The day is finally here. 13th April 2009. The day I enlist into the army, the day where a new phase begins and the day of new beginnings. I cannot help but feel excited that I am finally going to "become an official Singaporean MAN" and that I look forward to the next 2 years. I know that God will see me through and bless me with favour and open doors throughout this season. I truly believe that the next 2 years will be a time where my relationship and faith with the Lord will be strengthened and I pray that I will be ready for this time of molding. So for now, it's goodbye to all who have been regularly poking their noses into my business... (I mean, reading my blog).. [just a joke =) ] and do pray for me. Oh, and I might be posting up a photo of my shaven head for those who have been itching to see me with no hair.. Haha. So watch out for it yo. Huat ah! | | |
| I would like to establish that I am going through a phase of insecurity. Not financially or physically but emotionally. I feel worried all the time and struggling to shake myself free of my insecurities. As the old saying goes, "men only worry about two things, women and money" Well, I've already established myself to be not financially insecure so you don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what I'm talking about. I would like to say that I will leave it all to God and His timing but the things is that its really hard to do so when you see nothing happening and worse still, that my worry seems to be so distant from me all the time. I know all about faith and I know how God is faithful to us, but I still find it so difficult to exercise that faith because I'm feeling so worried and wretched all the time. It's not that its a total basket case. I think (if I'm not mistaken) that the feelings are mutual but then every step i take to build things up gets thwarted by the object of my feelings. I just don't know why is it so difficult and why am I feeling so insecure when I know that I can trust on a Good and Faithful God to come through for me. But the thing is, I still feel worried and insecure. I pray hard everyday that there will be some kind of breakthrough or miracle but everything seems to be going downhill. To quote a friend, "We might as well be strangers." Maybe now is a period of testing for my faith. Whether I will choose to believe that God can come through for me in this area despite the fact that I'll be further distanced away because of NS. But the thing is I'm really tearing my hair out wondering why is it so difficult. Makes me wonder if I'm slipping into depression. I pray hard to God that I won't but if this keeps up without me going back to God. I might very well just lose it. Oh the pains of adolescent love. | | |
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